Sunday, May 23, 2010

What do men want from women?

I have been told repeatedly that men like domestic women, which I suspect is their not so subtle way of saying they don't think I am. Gentlemen, help me out here. I sincerely want to know what your personal definition of this term means to you.
How could I resist?

Men may prefer women who are domestic ... but not necessarily domesticated. Many men actually are contemptuous of women who are passive and subservient, especially the men who brutalize women. The woman who constantly plays the helpless damsel in distress may attract us at first, but she quickly becomes a drag on us. The trick is to learn how to challenge us without cutting us down.

The thing is, men want a home-maker. Not necessarily a woman who spends her life "at home, barefoot and pregnant" (as the saying goes). Rather, they want someone who can transform four walls and a roof into a place of warmth, comfort and love. Women tend to be much better than men at creating such an environment, not just with furnishings and decorations, but with their presence, attitudes and emotions.

So you're not that talented a cook? The truth is that we'd rather have meatloaf and Ore-Ida potates at home with the wife (and kids) than Chateaubriand at Domenico's with the boss. If you work and thus aren't home long enough every day to clean the place within an inch of its life, so what? We can live with the dirty clothes in the closet and the panties drying on the shower curtain rod, as long as it means you're coming back home to us every night. We can fight with each other every once in a while, as long as we're not in competition with each other ... we get enough of that at work. (Besides, the nice thing about fighting is the reconciliation!)

This is where I disagree with Shark Bait: Profanity is a kind of verbal violence, ugly and squalid even from men, and effective only when used sparingly. So, okay, mea culpa; I too let fly with an occasional f-bomb, or some other four-letter Anglo-Saxon epithet. But it's uncomfortable enough to be around men whose everyday language is riddled with obscenities; it reflects a mind, heart and life that has been degraded, debauched, demeaned and depersonalized. It deflects intimacy, and substitutes vulgarity for honesty. That's not what I want to come home to! So while I'm not shocked or upset if a woman cusses every once in a while, I couldn't see myself being attracted to a compulsive potty-mouth, let alone marrying one.