Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Ten reasons why I never wash

Ten reasons why I never wash

    1.  I was forced to as a child.
    2. People who wash are hypocrites – they think they are cleaner than everybody else.
    3. There are so many different kinds of soap, I can’t decide which one is best.
    4. I used to wash, but I got bored and stopped.
    5. I wash only on special occasions, like Christmas and Easter.
    6. None of my friends wash.
    7. I’ll start washing when I get older and dirtier.
    8. I can’t spare the time.
    9. The bathroom is never warm enough in winter or cool enough in summer.
    10. People who make soap are only after your money.
Amazing how explanations that sound reasonable when you're talking about going to Mass/church come off really petty and immature when applied to taking a bath.

Thursday, December 23, 2010

I'm sorry, I've caught poetry ...

One of the best things about having a blog like this is that you can inflict your poetry on an unsuspecting general populace without the disgusting necessity of having it scrutinized by agents and publishers prior to publication. Heh heh heh.

Christmas Eve Reflection

The Child who, wrapped in linen soft,
And lying on the new-mown heather,
Reached out his hands to girl-child mother,
The first disciple of them all.

Monday, December 20, 2010

And now for an army completely different ....

The end of "don't ask, don't tell" has come, although there'll be some kinks (er, sorry) to work out before our gay soldiers, sailors, airpersons and Marines come completely out of the camouflaged closet. I'm quite certain, however, that we'll never see this on an American parade ground:

Saturday, December 18, 2010

A high-handed outrage in Phoenix

NEW YORK, December 16, 2010 ( - The American Civil Liberties Union has attacked Bishop Thomas Olmsted of Phoenix after news broke this week that the bishop had taken further steps against a Catholic hospital that had performed a direct abortion. [Because we all know that losing Catholic Church backing will cause federal and state funding to dry up—no, wait, we live in America.]

Reacting to the latest clash, Alexa Kolbi-Molinas, staff [liar .. er,] attorney with the ACLU Reproductive Freedom Project [You’re kidding me, right?], said the staff of the St. Joseph’s Hospital and Medical Center “did the right thing” by killing an unborn child late last year to avert aggravation of the mother’s pulmonary hypertension. [Because, of course, a theoretical medical threat takes precedence over a real human’s right to live.]

“A hospital’s first responsibility must be to protect the health of its patient, [and, of course, the unborn don’t qualify as “patients”]” said Kolbi-Molinas in a statement Wednesday. “Religiously affiliated hospitals are not exempt from federal laws that protect a patient’s right to receive emergency care [except if you’re unborn], and cannot invoke their religious status to jeopardize the health and lives of pregnant women [There’s a flag on the play … yes, it’s fifteen yards for misuse of adjective, because the mother’s life was already in (theoretical) jeopardy and refusal to abort would not have increased it, and loss of down for unsportsmanlike rhetoric].”

The pro-abortion wing of the advocacy group had already written to the Centers for Medicare and Medicaid Services in July of this year urging them to investigate [!?] Catholic hospitals that refuse to perform direct abortions as a matter of Catholic moral principle. [And what’s to “investigate” … whether they’re serving nutritious meals? No, no, my dears; the word you’re looking for is “persecute”.]

The Arizona Republic had revealed earlier this week that Bishop Olmsted had offered an ultimatum to the hospital’s parent company in order to keep their official Catholic status. The bishop said the hospital would have to backtrack on its endorsement of the abortion, submit to a diocesan review, and agree to ongoing staff training on the U.S. bishops’ Ethical and Religious Directives. [The nerve of the guy! He acts like the Church has some kind of authority over Catholic hospitals! Next he'll be bringing in the comfy chair!]

Should the hospital not comply, it would still be able to call itself “Catholic,” but the diocese would officially renounce the facility and priests would no longer be permitted to conduct Mass there. [O the humanity! O the repressive brutes!]


Umm ... ditto?

Listen to Michael Voris' latest think-piece on RealCatholic TV. He kinda reminds me of a blow-dried, physically fit Rush Limbaugh with a baccalaureate in Sacred Theology ... except that he knows something of what he's talking about.

As much as I can agree with the substance of Voris' smackdown, and while I can to a certain extent enjoy the rant as a rant, I just can't get that worked up about the quasi-religious nuns left in the old orders. Sure, they've done their damage; but like the KKK in American politics, they're pretty much a spent, sterile force in the Church in America. They're old, sad and pathetic. Let's smile at them, nod at their misanthropic ravings, and pray that their hearts and minds be opened before they die to God's redemptive grace.

Thursday, December 16, 2010

How JFK corrupted American Catholicism!

This was shot at Thomas More College's President's Council Symposium on Catholic Statesmanship at the Harvard Club, held just the other day. The speaker is Dr. Hadley Arkes of Amherst College, a Jewish convert to Catholicism and a remarkably earthy, witty fellow indeed:

Dr. Hadley Arkes at the Thomas More College of Liberal Arts from Thomas More College of Liberal A on Vimeo.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

Speaking of being offensive ....

According to the Fort Worth Star-Telegram, Chase Bank is afraid to put up Christmas trees in their lobbies because they don't want people to feel unwelcome. Good Lord, I feel sorry for those poor atheists, surrounded everywhere by signs that people still prefer hope to despair, prefer stories that bring meaning to our existence rather than stories that mash our noses in meaninglessness.

Chase Bank, this song's for you: