Monday, December 19, 2011

And I thought Haugen and Haas were bad ...

After yesterday afternoon, Mom and I agreed: No more Life Teen Masses for us.

It's not the quality of the Masses per se.  There's nothing wrong with the Masses at our parish that aren't irritants at the others; to wit, the flock of EMHCs crowded in the sanctuary or the orans position/holding hand business with which I've bored you before.  The only other thing I've noticed: Our priest, Fr. George is a lovely man who tries to "Say the Black and Do the Red", so because of his thick Indian accent, I'm very reluctant to talk with him about skipping the line in the Institution about taking the bread "in his sacred and venerable hands".  I'm sure that must be a source of concern for him, because he takes such conscientious care with the new liturgy that my legs have cramped up from kneeling so long.

No, it's the music.  The band — I suppose we must call them that — is excellent, far better than your average garage band.  But the lyrics of the W&P music they play runs theologically from the generic to the sloppy.

"Mary Did You Know".  Half the people I talk to say, "Oh, what a beautiful song!"  The other half say, "Oh, gag me with a spoon!"  I say, we could speculate all day as to how much the Blessed Mother knew when she said her Fiat ... but "This Child that you delivered will soon deliver you"?  What part of "Immaculate Conception" don't you understand?

"Wonderful Maker".  This one really got to Mom: "How majestic Your whispers and how humble Your love".  Perhaps you mean humbling?  God is neither abashed nor unworthy to love us; it's the other way around.

"Our God".  This was the final straw for me.  "Our God is greater, Our God is stronger".  Um, folks ... let me point out that greater and stronger are comparatives; as such, they implicitly beg to be asked: Greater than what? Stronger than whom?  Are we conceding the existence of other gods?  If so, when did we become polytheists?

Where's the Liturgy Police when you need them?