Thursday, December 1, 2011

From the "Tales of the bazaar" department

Laura Kristi, my cousin Steve Cronin's wife, just posted on Facebook: "Just saw a dude practically sprint out of Whole Foods to light up his cig. I'm confused."

Would that I could cartoon. That would make a lovely sight gag. Like Pamela Anderson putting on a fur coat in her attic, while glancing furtively for hidden paparazzi cameras. (Of course, based on her previous misadventures, she'd probably record it on camera herself; then a hacker would find the file on her computer.)

Doubtless, though, as another person replied, the smoker only worked at Whole Foods. In my experience, the only places where you find the ideologically committed are church offices and New Age crystal shops.

Oh, and abortion mills. ... And the Whatever Studies departments at universities. (Okay, this is beginning to look like Cardinal Ximenez in the Monty Python "Spanish Inquisition" sketches: "Amongst the places you find the ideologically committed are ....")

But still, I had to embroider that mental image. Not only was he smoking while working at Whole Foods, when he got home he put on a polyester suit with fur trim, and had a dinner of milk-fed veal with eggs. But he lit up a joint instead of knocking back a Jack and Coke because marijuana is natural.

Some people call it "hypocrisy"; I call it humanity. In some ways, the unconscious inconsistencies of people — especially the self-righteous — make this world much more interesting.