Sunday, March 4, 2012

Calling BS on Sandra Fluke's testimony

Perhaps her pants are on fire?
Okay, I'm going to copy some things that I said over on The Other Blog.   It's not that my creative well is running dry — um, at least it's not all that — but rather that, in that other piece, I was headed in a different direction, so the first couple of paragraphs were merely a set-up.  Now, I want to stare directly at the sun.

Right now, there’s a lot of guffawing and name-calling over Georgetown Law student Sandra Fluke’s testimony before the House Democratic Steering and Policy Committee on Monday.  Among other things, Fluke estimated that “Without insurance coverage, contraception, as you know, can cost a woman over $3,000 during law school.”

Over a three-year period, that’s about $83 a month and change.  A quick browse through the Internet got me a range of prices on generic estrogen-progestogen pills going from $49.52 for a 3-month supply (≈ $16.51/month)[*] to $25.99 for a 1-month supply of Levora or Lutera.[†]  Craig Bannister figured it out at $1 a condom … largely for laughs.  [According to Prof. Janet Smith, "These are the costs given on the Planned Parenthood website: Depoprovera costs $35-75$ and last 3 months, the pill at about $15-20 a month; Norplant costs $400-$800 but lasts up to 3 years."  And CVS lists a box of 12 Trojan Extended Pleasure condoms at $12.99.] Yet unless the braniacs attending Georgetown Law still don’t know how to go generic, or the Safeway Pharmacy on Wisconsin Avenue is deliberately ripping the rich kids off, there’s still quite a gap between $25.99 and $83.33 a month — Ms. Fluke’s numbers refuse to add up.

But besides the two explanations I've given above — that either Hoyas are spendthrifts or the local drugstores are taking advantage of them — there are a couple other explanations that don't have GU Law students spending more time in their bedrooms than in their classrooms.  One is that Fluke is great at public speaking but lousy at math.

An equally simple and more likely explanation is that Sandra Fluke deliberately exaggerated the costs of contraception. 

Ms. Fluke knew her $3,000 figure sounded improbable, which is why she dragged her lesbian friend with polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) into the discussion.  Despite the fact that most insurance plans that don't cover the Pill as birth control will cover it as hormone replacement therapy (HRT), Fluke used a glitch in her friend's coverage in a naked grab for the audience's tear ducts, deliberately misleading them into equating the refusal of birth control coverage with the refusal of HRT.

Sandra Fluke, you must remember, is a lawyer in training.  To be a successful courtroom lawyer, it's absolutely imperative to learn how to misdirect juries, to engage in personal attacks and appeals to pity, to play on the sympathies of the jury when the facts aren't in your favor.  If you intend to become part of one of the many PACs that surround Washington — as it appears Ms. Fluke intends — these skills are even more necessary.

In sum, learning how to be a lawyer means learning how to bulls***.  Sandra Fluke's testimony was bulls*** from beginning to her furious "choose between quality education and health" peroration.

Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a slut?
A: There are some things sluts won't do.

A lawyer friend told me that joke.  Which shows you how far the legal profession has fallen even among lawyers.