Saturday, January 19, 2013

Let's see, what's in the news today?

Poor little rich girl Zong Fuli.

Help wanted: One boyfriend for billionaire Chinese heiress

"Zong Fuli, 30,  the daughter of beverage magnate Zong Qinghou (net worth around $12 billion), tells the Chinese edition of Marie Claire that she is rich and boyfriendless. She says she can't find a regular nice guy, and that men simply want her for her money."
You mean she's rich, too?  I'd be happy to take her out ... if she'd settle for Applebee's and a movie.

Seriously — if she were a salesperson at Kohl's or a restaurant hostess, most of the men I've known would still be pleased to esquire her around just to make other guys envious, even if she were a whining shrew.  We're men; we're shallow and egotistical; that's how we roll.  The money is a plus; you really have to be mercenary to look at that elegant face and see only a fat payday.

Connecticut's alleged cross-dressing meth priest reportedly liked sex in rectory

The Catholic priest indicted by a federal grand jury in an alleged nationwide methamphetamine ring was reportedly suspended after Connecticut church officials discovered he was a cross-dresser who was having sex in the rectory at Bridgeport’s St. Augustine Cathedral.

The article doesn't print the source of these allegations, nor of the report that Msgr. Kevin Wallin bought an "adult specialty and video store"  (it's not professional to write "porn shop", y'know) after his resignation as pastor of St. Augustine Cathedral in Bridgeport while still on the diocesan payroll.
Still, this story just saddens me.  The priesthood is no place to escape one's personal demons.

In other news:

Husband Refuses 50 Shades Role Play, Wife Divorces

The erotic best-seller, 50 Shades of Grey, has revitalized many a sex lives [sic] of married and long-term couples but for at least one pair the book didn’t provide quite the happy ending they might have hoped for.
 According to the Daily Mail, a UK woman cited her husband’s “unreasonable behavior” in refusing to re-enact scenes from E.L James’ steamy novel — about the sadomasochistic affair [!] of billionaire magnate Christian Grey and college student Anastasia Steele — as grounds for a divorce.

Okay, I get that the guy is a jerk — he "often forgets Valentine’s Day and doesn’t compliment her appearance".  And I haven't read Fifty Shades of Grey; my leisure reads tend more towards history, biography, historical fiction and mystery novels, though I still have some fondness for sci-fi and fantasy (I did a review of A Canticle for Liebowitz in October 2011 you might like to revisit).

Still — the way to revitalize your sex life with your distant, unappreciative dolt of a hubby is to make him a domineering, physically abusive momzer?  Am I missing something here?

Maybe this is the dark side of women's dissatisfaction with post-Sexual Revolution "guys", i.e. men in their twenties and thirties stuck in an Animal House mindset, not really caring about careers, content to spend long hours at the PlayStation with their buddies, drinking beer and downloading internet porn … "a hybrid state of semi-hormonal adolescence and responsible self-reliance" researcher Kay Hymowitz calls "pre-adulthood".  Hmm ... I wonder how that came about ....

Become a 'Mastermind' with Sherlock Holmes' help

 Just imagine the possibilities if you put Holmes' brain power to use in the workplace, the classroom or social situations. That's the premise of Maria Konnikova's fascinating new book, Mastermind: How to Think Like Sherlock Holmes. Konnikova, a columnist for Scientific American and a doctoral student in psychology, explores the latest science to dissect the inner workings of the iconic detective's mind.

 I'd be satisfied if people just learned to think.  Especially before they talk.  Or drive.  Or go to the polling booths.  I swear, the next generation is going to grow up with flat noses from walking into lamp posts and closed doors because they're too busy texting each other or playing Angry Birds.

Parents Beware: 11 Dangerous Teenage Trends All Parents Should Know About

Teens are using drugs and alcohol in scary new ways

I can't help thinking that their parents probably did their share of beer bongs and Purple Passions between hits of the doobie as it got passed around (yes, sadly, I speak from some experience).  Some of the kids may have even been conceived at such events, with All-4-One or Hootie and the Blowfish playing in the background, just as their parents may have been conceived while Grandma and Grandpa were dropping acid to Jefferson Airplane and Jimi Hendrix.  I'm not trying to minimize the danger; I'm just saying we didn't get to this place overnight.

Umm ... no.  Five levels of all wrong.

Selena Gomez, Vanessa Hudgens strip down in 'Spring Breakers' trailer

Sweethearts Selena Gomez and Vanessa Hudgens are doing everything to prove they're not innocent Disney girls anymore.
The duo can be seen in the newly released trailer for the racy film “Spring Breakers.” It seems from the clips the girls spend most of the movie in tiny bikinis alongside Ashley Benson and Rachel Korine.
The actual plot of the film isn’t so clear from the trailer, but we do know the movie will be complete with plenty of beach scenes, a robbery and a girl-on-girl kiss.
Aw, Selena, no!

Actually, from what I can tell, the view gets no racier than teeny-weeny bikinis.  But what the hell is it with Disney girls that they feel they have to go from the nice-girl-next-door image to full-throttle "wild child" as soon as their contracts with the Mouse expire?  Though with Selena, it just doesn't take; she's got one of those Ralph Macchio/Michael J. Fox "I'm gonna be 15 for the next twenty years" faces.  Consider the picture: Middle-school girl from Beverly Hills tries to do trailer-park tramp.  Sorry, still not buying ... you still look like you're wearing mom's clothes.  Go back to "America's kid sister"; it's much more appealing.

And for the pièce de résistance:

Rumors flying that Mel Gibson is Jodie Foster's sons' biological father

 Well, as long as you say it's a rumor, I guess it's all right to print wild-a$$, irresponsible guesses.

Anyway, I guess it's a sign of the times that the surreal quality of Foster's "Clint Eastwood moment" at the Golden Globes, as head-scratching as it was, made less impression than her off-hand mention of having come out years ago (if that's what it was — the speech was that rambling and disconnected) ... and even that got quickly shoved aside by this latest piece of speculation.

Thanks for joining me on this little exercise in virtual people-watching.