Thursday, March 26, 2015

About Miley Cyrus and the blowup doll

Artwork © 2013 by Juan Andres,
Isn't watching the devolution of Miley Cyrus like watching a train wreck in slow motion? You know it's awful; you know so many people will be hurt by the time it's over; yet you can't pull your eyes away ... even when what you see makes you want to poke out your mind's eye, like her infamous twerking. (Hopefully, she definitively ruined it for everyone; it's the least sexy thing ever done on a dance floor, except for when Tom DeLay was on Dancing With The Stars.)

Okay, so perhaps Miley is the straw that breaks the camel's back. Nevertheless, I ran across this meme on Facebook, shared by one of my high school friends who's a rock guitarist. The picture is of Miley fellating a blowup doll — if you haven't heard of this, sorry to intrude on your peace of mind with it. On the meme, in the standard Impact font, is the following rant:

Umm yeah, and that's who your daughters look up to? Great Job America!

I would guess that the person who wrote this is my age ± 10 years, probably (though not certainly) male, and has at least one, perhaps two daughters. I say "probably" male because a female would probably not use such a graphic picture to make her point unless she were a third-wave feminist (and the sex organ in question were a vagina); given that the writer isn't celebrating Miley's sexual freedom, I'd say "third-wave feminist" is highly improbable.

After responding on my friend's thread, I shared it — then belatedly realized that the picture was Not Suitable For Most Locations and Audiences, Especially Young People. How ironic ... here I was, giving a lecture on rock's contribution to the degradation of public morals, while posting a picture including a graphic sexual act. Smooth move, Captain Oblivious. (It's deleted.)

Tried making a meme out of it, with black boxes over the naughty bits. Not happy with the result, especially as it looked like I was picking on rocker women.

This look just screams modesty and
chastity, don't it? (Image © 2009
Smaisch 666,
On the other hand, tell me who rock 'n roll can hold up to young women as a role model and paragon of sexual virtue — Courtney Love? Wendy O. Williams? Joan Jett? (It's not obvious from the lyrics whether the female narrative center of "I Love Rock 'n Roll" is under 18 or not; if she's older, then the song's about a female predator going after a male minor.)

So much of the hard-rock spectrum has as part of its culture and ethos sexual promiscuity; so many of the songs tell us that, while rocker guys like girls who remain faithful, they love easy girls, and that they expect women to put out or get out. One song that definitely whacks this theme over and over is the Mötley Crüe tune "She Goes Down"; but let's not forget White Lion's "Once Bitten Twice Shy", or Guns 'N Roses' "Anything Goes", or Nine Inch Nails' "Closer", or Korn's "A.D.I.D.A.S" — hell, we could add to this list all day!

Our butthurt rocker forgot all that. He's taken it so much for granted that he no longer sees it unless something/someone brings it forcefully to mind. As a parent, he's concerned about the behavior his daughter(s) learn from celebrities ... but not about the attitudes they learn from him and his choice of music, because they've become so much mental furniture. 

And he wrote his rant about the indecency of Miley Cyrus on a picture that really shouldn't be shared on social media. Srsly?

So let's face it: Miley isn't really doing much more than what's been done before, from Wendy O.'s partial-to-near-full nudity to Paula Abdul's fully-clothed simulation of sex in the video for "Cold-Hearted Snake", and all the various shades of tittilation in between. It took a lot of boundary-pushing to get us from Elvis' hips swinging suggestively to Miley's lips sucking explicitly ... and hard rock/heavy metal contributed plenty of precedents.

So my suggestion to all the butthurt rockers out there who are aghast at Miley Cyrus' slutty stage persona is that they should just cowboy up and — you should excuse the expression — own the suck.